Before my extremely lesbian eyes had been previously ~uncovered~ to ”
The L Keyword
,” I experienced some pretty dismal concerns about
homosexual existence
. Initially, I dreaded the allure might be totally stripped thoroughly clean from my personal globe ab muscles second we emerged tumbling outside of the dresser (there had been countless attractive gowns where closet). 2nd, we feared there is no hypersexual, twinkly-eyed, wildly-charismatic woman participants that would break my personal begging-to-be-cracked-in-half heart.



We began viewing ”
The L Word
” upstairs in my own bedroom aided by the doors closed. Everything I had previously thought about gay existence was actually smashed like a Fabergé egg thrown off an Upper eastern part penthouse apartment by the scorned fan of a wealthy Manhattanite!

Picture by Fabergé Eggs

And that I enjoyed just what lingered throughout the challenging
pavement that had broken the societal standards of beauty, child!

Picture by Showtime

And you know exactly who failed to only linger but *lounged* across the
pavement that hit myself like a lightning violent storm?


. Not merely had been
amazingly breathtaking, she was


. I’d not witnessed swag like this — on


off-screen. Oh, Shane, with the smudgy black colored eyeliner resting beneath the lady milk-chocolate brown vision! Shane, just who joined the screen hipbone initial and conducted you hostage along with her smoldering gaze. Shane, exactly who got down and dirty every single evening with a unique girl. Shane, who smashed hearts like fraternity guys crush drinks. Shane aided by the crazy charisma! Shane, exactly who placed every doe-eyed skater
I’d previously dated to shame along with her effortless allure. I might place awake through the night and dream about going on some grungy style date with Shane in

Western Hollywood

and then having sexual intercourse with her poolside with a palm-tree floating above my personal head, limited to the woman not to talk to myself again! Know me as unwell and complicated, but that was my personal greatest dream — getting ~exploited~ by


. Just how glamorous to get forlorn over a self-medicating hair-stylist in a leather vest?

Photo by @mediocrelesbianmemes

Then, we were introduced to
in season two. Carmen had been the type of lady I idolized: universally hot and of course female with sexy tomboy undertones.

Picture by Showtime

Carmen was the type of girl who’s the star of the woman local boxing gym but also a
queen. (women who DJ until three each morning but still find a way to have visible abs are *still* this type of a mystery in my experience.) She was the sort of lady who can speak the woman head while resisting the urge to place a drink in a person’s face. The sort of girl with
rencontre des femmes célibataires daddy vibes
and gentle vision and a huge smile that houses teeth because white as virgin snowflakes. She was the sort of girl i desired becoming but would not end up being. (i am also artsy and odd to be a Carmen.)

Zara weirdo.

Picture by Celine Rahmen

Whenever Shane and Carmen 1st connected, I almost passed away of intense envy. When I seethed in an eco-friendly deathbed of envy, I was cut back your by their own riveting chemistry. I happened to be accustomed watching Shane have fun with the starring part in most the girl gorgeously salacious hookups, but Carmen presented her very own. She commanded the display screen everything effervescent Shane did. Even though they fought and also when Shane pretended are an emotionally distant f*ckboy at the beginning of their own courtship, we happily rooted on their behalf. The thing I appreciated is they happened to be both the featuring roles in their commitment. These were two women that glimmer and sparkle and captivate the typical populace with equivalent magnetic energy.

Shane and Carmen.

Picture by Showtime

Within my fantasy-world where “The L term” is not a-work of fiction but a real-life that i am deeply immersed in, We eventually understand

in person

that Shane and Carmen both met with the top hand-in their own prior relationships. Since they are both increasingly separate and jaw-droppingly hot and have the form of jobs which get individuals set alot, all of their previous lovers happened to be vehemently threatened by their unique sexy prowess. Nevertheless when a couple who burn brightly meet up, they have the capability to merge fires and develop a fire so bright it lights up the fucking world.

As well as for a bit, they



Nevertheless they happened to be
infant dykes
in the first 2000s when they 1st met up! And like all
infant dykes
, they took their particular beautiful connection as a given. It really is what you do when you’re young and vibrant. It’s not possible to handle the temperature through the flame you started, which means you destroy it — afin de liquid over those pretty orange flames and snuff it appropriate the f*ck out.


when you are accustomed getting the shit-stirring, drama-provoking one in the partnership — especially when you’re not accustomed internet dating your actual and emotional equivalent. It really is a recipe for a hurricane of jealousy and concern with vulnerability, the sort which will take down



Just what takes place? Carmen gets jealous of Shane. Shane becomes jealous of Carmen. Shane cheats on Carmen because she actually is injured possesses probably never been to therapy therefore has no healthier tools to simply help the girl manage the woman ever-exploding thoughts. Carmen cheats on Shane straight back because screw


shit, she’s maybe not going to stay fairly and peaceful after becoming cheated on! (Girls such as that never ever perform, simply which means you understand.) Then Shane’s closest friend tragically dies of
cancer of the breast.
Shane hasn’t opened up to a lot of people in the woman life and is experiencing strong suffering and loss. She is inspired by a dysfunctional household, so her buddies are the woman household. She is essentially working with the loss of a close relative and it is frightened of shedding someone you care about once again.

Thus Shane proposes to Carmen. You need to never
to a person because they’re scared and experiencing additional vulnerable and wanting to manage a devastating reduction, but Shane doesn’t understand much better; she actually is


. You’ll need adequate existence knowledge to educate yourself on innovative lessons like that. Carmen knows in her gut it’s perhaps not the best time for you to get engaged to Shane; Carmen is actually normally sensible. She does not accept Shane’s offer to start with. She knows both have maturing to-do before traipsing on the section.

But, my G


, Shane’s friend merely

passed away,

which can be most likely kicking right up Carmen’s very own deep-rooted death trauma (she destroyed the woman pops in a motorcycle crash — that is


), and she is experiencing hopelessly lonely because her precious mom merely disowned her for being gay. Thus,


Shane. Right after which, due to the fact like I stated, Shane has not attended
and worked through the woman crap, Shane becomes cool foot. The woman absent daddy toxins her by telling the lady, in a nutshell, they are both condemned to-be asshole self-sabotagers the remainder of their particular lives and takes off with a younger woman. All of the little voices in Shane’s mind that inform the lady she does not deserve becoming pleased get truly f*cking deafening. They get louder compared to the components of her that understand the woman is worth living a great life with an excellent lover. She gives into those devil voices and will leave Carmen in the altar and proceeds to be on an enormous hard-partying bender. This can be all really traditional addict. At this time, it’s glaringly obvious that Shane battles with dependency. Only, this lady has


indisputable fact that she’s an addict, very once again, has no indisputable fact that the woman dependency is sleeping to the girl and is really positively attempting to extract her out from the light and inside dark. Sigh. (Im *so* glad we talk more and more
mental health
today than we did during the early aughts.)

Carmen, not surprisingly, is
, humiliated, and do not, actually wants to see Shane again. She really does what some women would after a heartbreak: She goes back the home of end up being along with her family (with since accepted the woman sexuality). She needs time to spider back the uterus and repair these blood-oozing injuries.

That amount of
, hurt, tears, despair, and betrayal operate because strong just like the Hudson River — therefore deep and isolated that no light can penetrate its method to the center from it. The one and only thing of these ladies doing is actually leave from both, begin talk therapy, become better individuals — be confident people that know by themselves and love themselves significantly more than they are able to ever love other people. This is the reason massive heartbreak can be so vital that you experience when you are youthful; it makes one to actually look into a mirror and examine your existence in a real AF means. It shows you just how entirely


really love is actually and just how vulnerable everyone should be getting our very own asses knocked by their iron fist. It makes you conscious of what your habits tend to be and what kind of baggage you have been unfairly tossing onto someone else’s quivering straight back.

Shane and Carmen are more effective men and women in order to have had their unique hearts smashed open by their epic baby-dyke relationship. And, once we learned during the previous reboot ”
The L Keyword: Generation Q
,” Shane has


obtained her work together. She is perhaps one of the most winning hairstylists in this field and owns salons in


. (For people killjoys I keep witnessing post on social media that it’s “unrealistic” for a hollywood hairdresser to-be


rich: you are completely wrong, bitch. Superstar stylists make a ton of cash and frequently come to be millionaires when they begin their own hair care contours and acquire a slew of exclusive salons. It isn’t simply finance dykes just who develop empires, you understand.) Yes, she actually is experiencing a breakup and demonstrably still has lingering emotions for her INSANELY gorgeous ex-wife Quiara. And Quiara is

every little thing

— famous, talented, stylish, earth-shatteringly beautiful.

Quiara, Shane’s new love interest.

Pic by Showtime

We suspect Quiara is actually only a little younger for seasoned Shane, and Quiara wants a baby —


. And Shane isn’t really overly enthused regarding entire thing. Indeed, she is made it obvious she desires nothing in connection with it. And I affect consider — if she truly, madly, profoundly cherished Quiara like she states she really does — she’d be on board when it comes to infant. I do believe the actual issue is that Quiara isn’t really Carmen. No one is ever going to end up being Carmen. (And Quiara warrants a lover this is certainly excited to begin the child journey with her.)

We don’t understand a lot about Carmen’s new lease of life via “The L term,” but I developed a powerful narrative during my mind. Right here goes: Carmen went and watched outstanding shrink after Shane screwed the woman over. She addressed the suffering and reduced the woman parent, finally. She managed the traumatization of remaining in the closet to appease her homophobic household. Getting significant modification, she moved to nyc and became the best, many widely lined up DJ regarding the Eastern Seaboard. What i’m saying is there is

not a chance

she stayed in LA. Shane and her buddies would still come across the woman whilst out on the town, for girls like Carmen cannot simply go away completely after a breakup! You either run into them all enough time


they go on to an innovative new area and glitter just like the diamonds during the window of this Tiffany fifth path shop, inside their brand name, glossy brand new life.

Carmen, like Shane, features obtained her crap together. And you know what? We question either of those has actually actually ever held it’s place in a relationship with this type of enjoyment and intimate biochemistry like theirs! Therefore after ten years following several of recovery, developing, learning about by themselves, why shouldn’t they offer it another shot? The ol’ university try features a higher rate of success when you have already been away from school for more than 15 years. Why wouldn’t they keep the luggage regarding 20s in the luggage cart and purchase a brand new pair of suitcases from Louis Vuitton (if Shane can travel via exclusive aircraft, she will pay for Louis baggage)? They truly are today much better, much more steady variations of whom they were in the past.

But intimate biochemistry like they as soon as had? That shit does not burn out.


. I am positively sure they will rock and roll one another’s world during sex. All things considered this time around, it might be these types of exciting-yet-familiar intercourse! (Which is the finest gender.)

Finally, Carmen should forgive Shane and go out with her currently. All i am asking for is *one* day, Carmen. Both you and we both know that one go out would trigger another day, which will cause sex, which may create them gazing in both’s vision not bold to blink — not willing to miss one minute of each and every other peoples naked epidermis.

Very at least test it, ladies. If not for your needs, for teeny-bopping us! If you don’t for


, for all your previous child dykes just who discovered every little thing lesbian from watching Carmen and Shane sparkle up an otherwise static television display screen.